Glacial Acres

Someone posted a list of 10 nominees for the Demons of Adoption Award 2008.

I didn’t quite understand all of them which is not to say I dispute the nominations, I just don’t know enough about them to put them forward.

However, here is my vote for Number One.

If there was an award for pro-adoption propaganda, I would nominate them for that too or how about the perpetuating the myths about adoption award or the … well you get the idea.

My Number One Nominee from their list:

The makers of Juno for helping to groom and brainwash a whole new generation of girls and young women to be walking incubators for the the adoption industry;

One of the things I always thought was odd about Juno was the name of the subdivision where the PAP’s lived. It was Glacial Acres or something like that. An out of character name given the rest of the film.

Peace

UM

Adoption Reunion and the Library

I read yesterday that libraries are doing well. I am pleased to hear it. The public library holds a special place in my heart because it was in a library that I saw my child for the very first time.

I, like so many other mothers, was not allowed to see or hold my child at birth. The first time I saw my child’s face was in a school year book in the public library. My child was beautiful and, to my surprise, looked liked me.

The article about libraries posted in Quill & Quire’s by Tabassum Siddiqui says in part

Despite the onslaught of entertainment options competing for our attention, apparently Canadians are still flocking to our public libraries, according to a feature in today’s Ottawa Citizen. The article suggests business is booming at Canada’s major public libraries due to factors ranging from the high price of buying books to the rise in Internet usage thanks to the popularity of social networking.

I stared at the picture in the yearbook for such a long time that the women sitting next to me at the big library table said “Are you alright?” I explained about my child, the adoption, etc. and that this was the first time I had seen my child’s face. She replied, “I think that’s wonderful. I’m an adoptee and I’m doing research here to try and find my family.” Both of us started crying and dissolved in to each others arms. And then I went and made a photocopy. That I have to this day.

According to the article:

Toronto boasts the busiest public library system per capita in the world, with 1.2 million cardholders and 28.9 million items in 40 languages circulating each year.

The bad news is that over 800 people are on a waiting list at one library to take out the movie Juno.

In the opinion of almost everyone who has been through the experience Juno is not an accurate portrayal of what it feels like to have and give up a child for adoption.

As the saying goes “Juno is to adoption as Pretty Woman is to prostitution.” It should come with a disclaimer.

Suppose you are pregnant…

Suppose you are pregnant and it doesn’t look like your relationship will or can turn into a permanent one. Suppose you are young. You are all these things? Then read on.

I’ve been there and I know how terrifying it can be. You feel trapped, frightened and alone. Nothing like Juno.

No matter what anybody tells you, no matter how smart-assed and cool Juno was and no matter how much everyone thought that movie was great, it was, in all aspects, not realistic about the emotions of relinquishing a child for adoption. You will not just give birth and go back happily to play the guitar with the guy you liked or were in love with. And if you do, you will do it by shutting down the part of yourself where you feel and it will take years to get it back, if in fact you do get it back.

Will they make Juno II in eighteen years when Juno may just meet that child and he, who no doubt will be just as smart ass as his mother, will say “Why did you give me up?”

“So I could play the guitar with my boyfriend,” won’t sound like a very darn good reason to Juno or to him.

Statistically, 60% of women who relinquish a child for adoption never have any more children.

If your decision is to continue with your pregnancy, think about it, please. For your sake and your child’s.

Look seriously at your options and your prospects for the long term not just the short term. Think about where you can find support, emotional and financial. Don’t let adoption be a long term solution to a short term problem.

Adoption is no guarantee of a wonderful life. Don’t let anyone convince you that you represent the deprived end of the spectrum and prospective adoptive parents represent the perfect full and happy life end. There are no perfect people. No one can make any such guarantee. It might work out well but then again it might not. Adoptive parents can get divorced, die, fool around on their spouses and maybe even sometimes not be warm and loving to the kids, just like everybody else. They may have money and you don’t but, money does not guarantee love. The United Nations has said that it is a child’s right to be raised by it’s own parents.

Don’t listen to people who want to get their hands on your baby or people who just want the whole problem of your pregnancy to go away. Giving a baby up for adoption may seem like a short term gain but it is long term pain.

I am a happy person, I don’t want to be angry or bitter or anything else. I am married. I have a family and a dog. I have two university degrees. A good life. I don’t feel guilty but I do feel that giving my child up for adoption was a BIG mistake.

You have the benefit of our voices. Listen to them. We didn’t have that. I know you are probably young and frightened but please – just think.

Peace

UM