I said it wasn’t going to be all adoption all the time. I got other stuff going on in my life too ya know…like listening to music (and thinking about adoption.)
I’ve been taking a writing course this weekat a small college a short distance away. The course is excellent and I am enjoying it a lot. The teacher is amazing and my fellow students are good.
As I drive back and forth through some of the most beautiful scenery in the world, I listen to my ipod using that little gadget that lets you put the music through your FM tuner.
In doing this I am reminded of a writer who said that she set up a playlist for every book and listened to it as she wrote. Before I had an ipod I used to listen to CD’s that defined the character or the mood of the story musically speaking. I wrote a great story listening to Rod Stewart’s Great American Songbook. I wrote another to Billboard’s Top 10 of 1981. It wasn’t in 1981, I wasn’t a writer in 1981, it was a couple of years ago. I don’t recall the story being very good. I don’t think the music was so great either. Let’s get Physical by Olivia Newton John. Jessie’s Girl by Rick Springfield. It wasn’t pop music’s finest hour or mine but it was a nostalgic trip.
Now, of course, you can put your own list together or you can set to shuffle and let the ipod do it for you. Sometimes I think the ipod is extremely intuitive. Songs appear that are long forgotten but seem to suit your mood perfectly. Sometimes the ipod knows you better than you know yourself. Or sometimes I think mine is channelling my old boyfriend (not my child’s father, the one before him.) When I broke up with him, he put a curse on me. He said every time I heard Are you Lonesome Tonight by Elvis Presley, I would think of him. And dammit, it’s true. And that song seems to show up on my ipod often. It’s like the ipod and my ex are in cahoots.
When I was looking for my child, I used to listen to Somewhere Out There , in little mouse voice, from An American Tale. The night that I returned home from a walk and heard my child’s message on the answering machine. The first time I had ever heard his voice. I sat down, had a healthy drink and played the song about ten times. A little corny but it said it for me back then.
After we met the song that says it all about adoption for me from a mother’s point of view is “Song of Bernadette” It was written by Leonard Cohen and is sung beautifully on Famous Blue Raincoat by Jennifer Warrens. If you lost a child to adoption, sit down and have a listen. I defy you to get through it without shedding a few tears.
To me it is a song about pure love.
If your an adoptee, I hope you will have a listen too. There’s a YouTube video of her singing it. It’s pretty old but ignore her hair and funny suit (?) and just listen.