I wrote in my last post about what was going on with my son because I felt a bit uncomfortable writing about adoption when my own situation was not going so well. Felt, in a way, as if I was committing a sin of omission. Or pretending – and god knows there has been enough pretending.
I’m glad I wrote about it. I actually felt better after I did. The same day I wrote the post I sent a quick email to my son saying I was trying again to reach him.
This morning I received an email from him – subject line – Adoption. In it he said he is “moving on” because it is clear he will never be part of my or his father’s family.
I’m sad. I’m angry. I’m incredibly frustrated. I am worried about him. I wish I could get through to him somehow.
Adoption, to me, seems to be the gift that just keeps on #$@&!*$ giving.
Thank you to everyone for their responses to my previous post. I don’t know any of you on sight but believe me – your kind words help.
I worry that these experiences will discourage other people from looking. I hope not. My son used to say he would probably be in jail if he hadn’t met me. If that’s true, I’m glad we met, no matter how things turn out in the end.
In my response to his email, I told him that I love him and care about him. And, that that will not change because of an email and will not change even if I am never able to speak to him again.
And that’s the truth.
I just clicked on one of those “Related Blog Posts” that WordPress sticks at the end of yours. Automatically generated. This one was at the bottom of my “My Broken Silence ” post.
All the “related blog” said was this:
He’s haunted by the memory of a lost paradise
In his youth or a dream, he can’t be precise
He’s chained forever to a world that’s departed
It’s not enough, it’s not enough
His blood has frozen and curdled with fright
His knees have trembled and given way in the night
His hand has weakened at the moment of truth
His step has faltered
Pink Floyd ~ Sorrow