I guess I really have to get over this. This tendency to go silent every time I get another indication of just how much animosity my son bears toward me and how troubled and misguided he is.
So what happened. Well it all started innocently enough. Dinner with an old friend. I was looking forward to it. My friend is also a birth mother and, in fact, we met because we met our kids on the same day some twenty years or so ago.
Over the course of dinner she told me that my son had contacted her by email and the reason for the contact was to trash me. Apparently it wasn’t a very nice email. My friend being a birth mother and wise responded by saying that adoption is complicated and that she knows that I love him.
Now you may think that it was the trashing of me that upset me. Not really. I knew my friend was not going to think any less of me. What upset me was the fact that he would do such a thing because as most people have said, his actions say way more about him than they do about me.
Oh how I wish he would direct all this anger where it belongs – at the institution of adoption. But I don’t think he knows enough to know that yet
I could say much more but I don’t want to. I’m still cognoscent of everyone else’s privacy or maybe I just feel if you can’t think of anything nice to say don’t say anything at all.
And so the blog goes silent for a while while I try and get my head around all this yet again.
This is the first time I have tried posting from my itouch so I hope it works.