adoption, reunion, reform, realitY
My penultimate post for NaBloPoMo. I decided to write about whatever I want to write about today. I am still dealing with the elderly parent issues and the doggie just came home from the vet’s post surgery.
Tomorrow I am going to talk about the whole NaBloPoMo experience. But today:
Thank You Cheesecake Factory – The Big Bang Theory (and Adoption)
As readers of this blog know, I am crazy about Madmen. But my other favourite show is the Big Bang Theory.
What’s not to like with the excellent writing and the theme song by The Bakenaked Ladies, a Canadian band. The women on the Big Bang Theory fare a whole lot better than the women on Madmen where those 60’s guys are not very evolved.
My favourite character on the Big Bang Theory is Howard Wolowitz. He’s the least educated of the four guys, holding a mere masters degree in engineering from MIT to their three PhD’s in Physics.
I’ve done a lot of thinking about why I like him the best. In some ways, I really don’t understand it. He lives with his mother for one thing. I mean everybody knows – Never date a guy who lives with his mother.
His clothes are a joke. He always dresses in shirt and turtle neck. He’s coordinated. Too coordinated. Way too coordinated. You can tell a lot of thought has gone into that wardrobe but it totally fails too. It, the wardrobe, like his bachelor-pad bedroom in his mother’s house, is right out of 1975. A time when, by my calculations, Howard was not yet born.
He drives a scooter. He seems to think it’s a Harley. Howard comes on to women in ways that are just way too much and way too creepy. Yet there is something endearing about him.
What is it? Howard Wolowitz is always looking for love. On the surface it appears to be sex but I think it is really about love.
Howard is trying so hard. It’s so sad that he goes about it in a way that pretty much guarantees he is not going to get what he wants. And he can’t see what is getting in his way.
Among other things, Howard’s relationship with his mother is a tad symbiotic.
She screams at him. He screams at her. (Proving that living with your biological parents can be no picnic sometimes too.) He says it is hell living with her but when an opportunity to move out of her house and in with one of the guys comes his way, he can’t take it. You can tell he’s afraid.
Simon Helberg, the actor who plays Howard, takes more risks than any of the other actors on the show. He shows us his vulnerability. He bursts into tears when he finds an old “Alph” toy because it was just such a toy that was his comfort when his father walked out on his mother – and him. And he can humiliate himself wonderfully. There’s the time he sang the song “Bernadette” by the Four Tops for his girlfriend when she was mad at him.
Somebody told me once that when adoptees meet their mothers they project the parenting style of their adoptive mother onto their mothers.
Sort of like Howard tried to do with Bernadette.
When Howard braves his mother’s wrath and moves in briefly with Bernadette, unconsciously he tries to turn her into his mother. Bernadette cares enough about herself and him to call him on it.
Yes Howard may have a masters degree from MIT but, about some things, like love, he is not so smart.