Adoption Truth Part II


The offending contest over at Circle of Moms was closed down.

This appeared on the website:

After serious consideration, we have decided to cancel our Adoption Blogs by Moms – 2012 contest. Our Top 25 program is meant to celebrate, connect, and support mom bloggers. Following some feedback from participants in our 2011 contest, we decided to make this year’s Top 25 more inclusive. In doing so, we unknowingly stepped into a very sensitive issue and debate, and we apologize to all the moms who have been offended, no matter what your position on adoption is. We’re committed to finding a way to give all parties in the Adoption Triad a voice on Circle of Moms. If we run a Top 25 Adoption Blogs in the future, we’ll consult with mom bloggers in each part of the Adoption Triad on how to create a supportive contest where all bloggers would feel welcome and respected by Circle of Moms and by all participants. We appreciate the time and energy every participant put into this contest during the past week, and we sincerely regret that we can’t reward those efforts in the way we had planned to when we launched the contest. 

We will be closing the contest at 3pm PST today and all blogs will be removed from the contest page.


The Circle of Moms Team

Is this a victory?  It feels like a victory. In some quarters there is the feeling that this statement is code for we will continue in the same old way.  I hope not.  I’d like to think not.  Maybe I am naive and overly optimistic.  This is always a possibility. I will wait and see. It’s making me think about this post of mine. Maybe I should add it to the UM Highlights page.  Right after the one about Nietzsche.

The email informing Adoption Truth blog that they were being removed from the contest was alarming.  I was naive enough to be totally surprised and shocked at the blatant censorship. But as my Irish grandmother (and my son’s Irish great-grandmother) used to say, “It’s an ill wind that doesn’t blow somebody some good.”

I have no doubt (but no absolute confirmation) that the decision to remove Adoption Truth from the contest was made as a result of complaints from adoptive parents.  They have long controlled the narrative and who gives up control without a fight.  But I am hoping that some people, inside and outside the Circle of Moms, learned through all of this that there are other voices out there that deserve to be heard, those of adoptees and first moms.  And that those voices will be heard whether you try to shut us down or not. The tone of those voices is all over the spectrum, some are angry and reasoned, some abusive and reasoned, some are calm and reasoned.  But all have the same message.  There is another side to adoption and you need to hear what it is.

In fact, there are many sides/aspects to adoption.  We all deal with the personal impact but most of us, as we come out of the adoption fog, have also come to realize that part of what we need to do is educate.

If you would like to read one adoptee’s journey out of the fog and on to something greater, go and read The Declassified Adoptee

Well written and thought provoking. As always. Really, go and read and learn.




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