Who Needs Their Biological Mother Anyway?

Once again Lost Daughters hits it out of the park.

Reunion Wisdom from The Declassified Adoptee

Nine Things I’ve Learned in Five Years of Reunion

Adoption reunion has to be the most complicated relationship you will ever enter into.  Mothers have been told how much their choice will be honoured, how perfect the adoptive parents will be.  Adoptees approach reunion with the story of their adoption and the adoptive parents’ perception of their mother infused into their personal narratives by osmosis.  Adoptees want to know why they were given up.  Perhaps they have been told they should be grateful for their adoption. The two, mother and son or daughter, meet and many things on both sides may not be as they were told they would be.   Other people get involved, the complications multiply.

The truth shall also set you free…

A great post from Lost Daughters on the choppy waters of adoption reunion.

If You Love Something, Let It Go Free

And this feels like the companion piece to the Lost Daughters post.  From The Adopted Ones:

Good Grief – This Gets So Tiring.

I am adding another post to this list a day after the original publication.   From Birth Mother First Mother Forum.

Father Grieves his Troubled Adopted Son

Together these three bloggers make a powerful statement about the damage that can occur when there is no understanding of the true impact of adoption for the adoptee.

 

 

 

 

 

13 reasons…From The Humanist Adoptee

By way of Land of a Gazillion Adoptees, a recent post from The Humanist Adoptee: 13 Reasons Why Adopted Children Are Not Lucky

From the comments to the above:

It took me nearly 40 years to realize how adoption truly impacted me — and I am still discovering new things about myself. Over time, I felt the sting of many of these points — one by one. When I was younger, it was all about “where did I come from and who do I look like” and now, it has become “look who I am turning out to be” after having been in reunion for over 22 years. Questions are still being answered, grief is still taking place and emotions are still running high in my families …  My life growing up was wonderful, yet I still experienced nearly every single one of these impacts at one stage in my life or another. Maybe not every adoptee has these experiences, but many of us do. Thank you for writing!

You have to start somewhere…

UM

UM has been silent for quite awhile.  Things were going on that I won’t go into here.  Do I want to start writing my blog again?  To be honest I’m not sure.

Do I still believe in adoption reform and adoption activism? You bet.

I am encouraged by all the great voices that are out there. All the people that are starting to get it.  All the people who call individuals and institutions out when they spout the old adoption party line – ignoring all the voices, mainly adoptees and mothers, that say the party line is inaccurate, self-serving and offensive.

I think slowly things are changing.

I’ve seen many, many posts that I wanted to pass on but didn’t so today I am going to do it.  because, as I said, you have to start somewhere.  One is about adoptee anger and how it just may be justified and the other two are  about the burden of being told you must feel grateful for being adopted.

Here they are. All written by adoptees:

Why Anger is Necessary

and

Who Is Entitled to My Gratitude

Adoptees’ Perspective on Love

And one more, also by an adoptee, that kind of reflects how I feel sometimes.

Adoption Doesn’t Feel Real

Peace

UM